- Published: Sunday, 18 November 2018 01:53
Sometimes, it seems like microbrewers will use everything but the kitchen sink as ingredients. Given the way people make homebrew in some countries (we're looking at you, Great Britain), it's not all that unexpected that some beers might be made in the kitchen sink. After all, it'll probably hold a good five gallons of brew, which is about two standard cases. But given the human tendency to experiment—which has resulted in delicacies like baluts (fertilized duck eggs) and deer penis wine (self-explanatory)— we suspect some misguided soul, somewhere, has tried to add even the sink to produce a smooth, metallic finish to his final product.
And yes, it's almost always a "he."
All you really need is malt, hops, water, and yeast. But it seems that anything even potentially edible (and possibly sometimes not) has gone into beer recipes at some point. Brewers have been known to use everything from fruit to triple-strength spoiled stout (the big secret of Guinness!) to stone crab legs, pizza, oysters, mustard seed, spices of every type, coffee, donuts, bacon, marijuana seeds, hot peppers, chocolate, crushed burnt bread (an ancient Sumerian specialty recently rediscovered), and, perhaps most disturbing, a strain of yeast found in a brewmaster's beard. Yes, it's called Beard Yeast.
Some of these beers we've actually tried, and they taste delicious! Others we've heard are pretty great, and they sell well for their brewers in quantities large and small.
Now, we're not judging, but some of these beers we haven't tried...? They'd be like armadillo meat to us. In other words, the only way we'd ever try 'em would be if someone didn't tell us what was in them first. Especially Beard Yeast beer (beard beer?). We might even keep drinking them if they didn't taste too bad. But even if we wouldn't drink a beer, we'd love to provide the labels for it—it would be fun just listing the ingredients on those craft beer labels!
We wouldn't be surprised if there's a Stone Soup style beer out there, where a clever brewer convinced someone to start the wort (the deliciously strong-smelling boiling brew mix) with just a stone, and then suggested the occasional additional ingredient here and spice there that would add to the flavor, until voila! A Whatever Was In the Pantry beer was born.
Hey, if it worked, more power to 'em!